I just realized how much I dread the holidays. Yeah, it's swell when youre a kid because you have family giving you money left and right and feeding you and taking naps. But, the holidays don't do that for me anymore. Not living with my mom. Not really feeling welcome at my dad's... Well, it's wierd. Not feeling like I SHOULD go anywhere. I wonder how many more years this will go on...

i haven't written a while. i'm bad about it, i just feel like I never have much to write about.

today was the most boring day. i woke up and started packing. sorting through shit. throwing away shit. packing. packing. packing. it was a good break getting out with my mom and sister. and considering i have -$ it was nice to actually eat. after that i went to go pick up some moving boxes at harris teeter. i realize now i have a week until i actually have to move - but, im... pretty much ready to get out for a wide variety of reasons. plus i am super excited about this new place. its just so much nicer. jason and i are going to be baller status.

speaking of, i guess i really haven't written a "whats going on with me" entry lately.
most importantly - jason and i are getting an apartment. i am uber excited about this. (that tells you just how excited i am... seeing as how i never really say uber. i actually think its kind of a wierd word) depending on financing and stuff, i am going to attempt to buy a living room set. so, like i said before we can be baller status. like my mom said "what is baller status" - no no mom, you say it more like BALLA. it's high class. high class, mom.

in other news, i have started world war three in my current apartment for some god forsaken reason. however, i was unaware of this. i had to be told by someone else? wow. wow. wow. wow. anyway, i guess it's too much to ask for people to keep a place clean after you clean up for them. but it's insulting to me when i clean, and then an hour or two later it's shitty again. personal opinion? i guess so.

i don't quite understand how people can go through life with blinders on. they don't realize theyre doing something wrong... and they just keep doing it. all the while denying it, but getting extremely defensive about it when it's brought up. ummmm. "denial is the first step to recovery"

done.

i went to the checkers game with kurt and the gang. it was pretty fun. other than a few of the cheerleaders were busted. BUT IM NOT COMPLAINING OR ANYTHING. it was actually kind of fun, although i have more fun with the breaks inbetween the game and the games they play with the crowd than the actual game... because i can't really ever figure out where the hell the puck is. the checkers lost. oh well. it was a cool way to waste a sunday afternoon (IM NOT COMPLAINING- but next time id get cheaper seats) :)

aha! i just remembered; i took my sg pictures and submitted them today. *KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED* i dont know what to expect really, but the file hasn't been downloaded yet, and I don't imagine they'll be working tomorrow (or maybe they will?) so im expecting a response by friday? if i have to wait til monday OHgoodness i dont know what i'll do. =

anyway - im dependant on my security deposit, and sg, and loans to pay my rent... and maybe eat if im lucky. i really wish i could get the $800 dollars my friend owes me back. its a real bummer and it's not only putting a strain on our friendship but a strain on my entire life. i seriously can't afford to even buy groceries or anything right now. i'll be in the clear by the end of next month, but for the time being i dont know what im doing until he pays me back. gughh.

christmas is coming. i dont know what im doing about christmas. i may just ignore it. =

i applied for a job at uncc... i was supposed to hear back on monday, but i guess i didn't get it. woe is me... let me know if you know of anybody hiring...........

well, its too quiet in my apartment. i'm dying of boredom. i pretty much have everything packed up. maybe i can move it over to the new place and just keep it there til its time to actually "move" - itd save me some serious time. hm. i need a truck. im sure i'll work something out. there will be a party when we get settled in - a french revolution party. heads will roll.

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